Feedback

Providing feedback is an art, a lot of time often happens is that we do it so unskillfully that not only the receiver get offended, we feel bad, and so we avoid giving any more feedback in future. The original problem gets worse.

Imagine a business where a manager is too reluctant to point out a fault in a worker because she doesn’t like conflict. The business will suffer. Suppose the coach of a sports team delays criticizing one of the player’s failings because he is afraid of creating discord. The team will lose. It is our duty to give timely criticism. Here is how it is done.

First, praise the person you want to provide feedback. Lay it on thick but honestly. The purpose of the praise is to establish that we respect them, value their contributions, and that we are not simply putting them down. Praise also serves to open up people’s ears. We pay scant attention to what people are saying to us, preferring to listen to our own thoughts about what they are saying instead. Praise is the bait that lures us out of our self-protective inner safety room so we can fully hear what is being said. We like praise, so our ears open wider for more.

Then we go with the actual talk - feedback, “But . . .” And the reprimand goes in through opened ears. Lastly, we add another thick layer of praise, reinforcing that we are not rejecting them as people, only pointing out the improvement areas among so many good qualities that we have just now taken the time to point out.

The result is that the person accepts the feedback without feeling diminished, we as manager have performed our job with no unpleasant aftertaste, and the problem has been addressed.

#feedback#people#team#art#safety#respect